greenbergsays：←文笔很棒的冬盾大大~这是她的“三句话”au，忍不住分享了~

For the next smut friday's christmas theme - could you write something about tony/avengers walking in on them fucking under the christmas tree?

— Anonymous

妮妮/复仇者撞见冬哥和队长在圣诞树下……

Less smut and more humor, but whatevs.

–

Christmas morning in Stark Tower starts with a myriad of sounds:

Tony and Clint shrieking and Natasha nearly laughing herself sick. Bucky growling his frustration and Steve whining when he’s left uncovered and bereft.

Bruce doesn’t make a sound, just pinches the bridge of his nose and considers going back to bed, while Thor slings an arm around Natasha’s shoulder and grins.

“An excellent way to start out a holiday morning!” He booms.

“Don’t encourage them!” Clint protests, quite hysterical, and then rounds on Bucky and Steve, pointing an accusatory finger in their direction while his other hand covers his eyes. “And is nothing sacred to you?! It’s Christmas morning, for God’s sake!”

“I know,” Bucky says sourly. “And we were havin’ a very good one until you decided to barge in on us.”

“It’s the communal floor, Barnes!” Tony hisses.

“Oh, my bad,” Bucky replies with a shit-eating grin. “I thought it was the consummational floor.”

“I fucking hate you.“

圣诞节早上的史塔克大厦，在无数的声音里开始了新的一天。

托尼和克林特尖叫的声音还有娜塔莎笑到不能自理的声音。巴基懊恼地低吼以及史蒂夫完全露出来时的抱怨。

布鲁斯没有说话，只是捏了捏鼻梁，想着要不要回去睡觉。托尔搭上娜塔莎的肩膀笑起来。

“非常棒的方式来庆祝假期。”他说。

“别表扬了！”克林特歇斯底里地反驳，一只手指着巴基和史蒂夫，另一只盖住了自己的眼睛，“对你们来说就没有神圣的事吗？这是圣诞节早上！我的天。”

“我知道。”巴基没好气地说，“而且我们本来挺高兴的，直到你们进来了。”

“这是公用楼层，巴恩斯！”托尼气道。

“噢，是我的错，”巴基露出沾沾自喜的微笑，“我以为这是圆房楼层。”

“真他妈讨厌你。”